


Life, Love, and Girls Named Lily

by Tequila_Mockingbird



Series: Four by Four [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, F/M, Gen, Marauders' Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-06
Updated: 2012-02-06
Packaged: 2017-10-30 16:42:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/333840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tequila_Mockingbird/pseuds/Tequila_Mockingbird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At one point or another, they supposed they were all a little bit in love with her, in their own ways.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life, Love, and Girls Named Lily

For Remus it's just one of those things, when you realize slowly and without even really realizing that the smile and the laugh and the eyes of a girl you never looked twice at become invaluable and brilliant and wondrous. And he dreams for a while, grinning at her in the library while they study together, and he even gets all excited when she asks him to the Yule Ball that year, their Fifth Year, but then he's dancing with her and her eyes get all bright and fantastic and he looks past her shoulder as they turn and realize she was staring at Prongs, who was staring at her. And Remus is no idiot, he knows before they do that certain things are inevitable and so he wraps up his heart in tissue paper and sticks it away in the attic of his mind.

He's enough of an adult, even at fourteen (but an old fourteen, if it comes to that) to know that it's just a crush, and so it goes into deep storage. He takes it out every so often over the next few months, to smile wistfully at for a moment or two, and he never says anything because it wouldn't do any good. But then, around the beginning of Sixth Year, when he unwraps the memories, all that seems to be there are wisps, and he realizes with a jolt that it's gone. He's over her. And he sighs in relief and gets on with his life.

***

For Peter it come on in a rush of awe a few months after she and Prongs start dating. Anyone who can so enthrall James, the omnipotent James Potter, has to be fascinating, so he takes a closer look and discovers that she is rather fascinating. She's pretty, but he never realized how pretty until he saw Prongs looking at her with that hunger, like he could just devour and devour and devour her and still find himself starving. So he watches them together, furtively and quietly and he sees the way James looks at her, like he's entranced. And anyone who can turn the awesome force for chaos that is James Potter into a blushing bloke with messy hair who carries his bird's sack to class without complaining once must have some sort of spell going.

It's strange, to be so interested in someone and so jealous of them at the same time—he cannot decide, not really, whether he wants to rip them apart or set up some sort of shrine to their perfection together. So Peter keeps watching her, and lusts after her in a half-hearted fashion for a while, but eventually the glow wears off and he sees that she's just a girl. She's just a bird, rather pretty but with a helluva temper, and something about her that just appeals to Prongs. That's all. And so he just shrugs and gets on with his life.

***

For Sirius it was slower, and odder, and more confusing. He hated her, for a while, he really did: hated her for taking Prongs away and for making him weak and fragile and soppy. But eventually he had to stop hating her because she honestly wasn't that bad—a bit of a swot, sometimes, but with a killer sense of humor, and really pretty, and smart as hell, and with this crazy temper that she would just unleash all over the place like mad. And it seemed like it was only a short step from not-hating-Evans to feeling-odd-about-Lily. Because when he saw her this… this warm feeling would show up in his heart and he'd want to smile all the time and he still thought she was so damn pretty and Merlin, he was falling for Prongs's fiancée. Shite. He's in love with Lily Evans Soon-To-Be-Potter and Prongs is going to kill him if he doesn't off himself first.

So he avoids them for a week or so, but he can't keep it up and so he's just awkward for a little while and he 'dates' even more indiscriminately, and dammit, there was a war on, so wasn't he due a little crazy behavior? And then someone dies, and he's at the funeral and Lily grabs him into a big hug and he realizes with a jolt that this doesn't feel any different than hugging Moony, or James… that he loves her, sure, but he's not in love with her, and he's never felt like this for a girl, never even realized that you could love a girl like this, like they were family. And a few years later, when they ask him to be the godfather to little Harry, he realizes that she loves him back—and it's like having a family all of a sudden, and he grins and thanks them both and decides to get on with his life.

***

For James, it starts with a slow, creeping sort of interest in Third Year, just as he's discovering that girls exist, and he's noticing Evans a bit more than anyone else. And then she grows up like mad over that summer, and when she shows up in Fourth Year he asks her to Hogsmeade, already filled with the brash confidence of a thirteen year old boy who's never been turned down before. Next, when she says no, it all becomes about the chase, and the victory, and the need that thrums through him to win-win-win-win. But she says no, and no, and no, and slowly the urgent humming whatever-it-is slows down into noticing that she's not just fit, she's… beautiful, and smart, and interesting, and doesn't think he's worth the time of day. And somehow, for some reason, that only makes the odd longing worse, the need to figure her out and get under her skin and understand Lily Evans fully and completely. So he works at it, and he changes for her and for himself and grows up a little and learns some things and she's still not interested, and then she is.

He keeps at it, even though it hurts, a little, how sure he is that she'll move on once she realizes the one thing that only she ever seemed to clue in on—he's a fake. He has no idea what he's doing, why everyone worships him, it's all a fluke and she's the only one who's ever caught on. But she doesn't, she seems to actually like talking to him and laughing with him and kissing him and all of a sudden he's spilling out that he loves her, and all his dreams are suddenly their dreams, and he's on his knees asking her to marry him and she's saying yes. It's like a roller-coaster ride, all madness and bustle but he knows deep down that it will all work out. And he's going to marry Lily Evans and together they're going to get on with their lives. 

James and Lily Potter… and that sounds pretty damn good.


End file.
